Inburgering

Today I met a former Pakistani colleague from a basic (and man was it basic) Dutch language training course - from some 4-5 years ago. He was a PhD student then but was sufficiently gifted to get a 4 year post-grad appointment here. He was walking with his wife and kid along the street, and I made a conscious 'faux-pas' (in terms of Islamic etiquette). I shook his hand - and then hers. And I could see he was quite pissed off with me - especially as he knows that I have visited Pakistan and have some familiarity with Islamic etiquette. I figured - well hey you've been here for six years now - time to accept some western customs - women are people not chattels.

And within this brief encounter lies a dilemma for all ex-pats- to what extent should you maintain your own cultural identity and norms and to what extent should you adapt? I know that if I were to leave the NL (either to return to the UK or to move on) there would be many positive things about Dutch culture that I would miss (one example being the respect given to cyclists). Yet equally there are many things about this country that I still find annoying after six years or so - and in fact as time goes on they become more annoying- (like their small beer glasses and belief that half the glass should consist of foam).

As an ex-pat one has to strike a delicate balance between maintaining a sense of your own cultural identity (nobody loves a chameleon) and to blend into another culture. It's often not an easy balance to strike.