Sometimes of course, the glass seems half empty - but I do sometimes (though maybe not often enough) remember to be grateful for the incredible good fortune that has enabled me to support myself as a self-employed ex-pat for the past nine years.
I think that there will always be work enough for people like me while people continue to write sentences like this: "Sensibilized through recently published reports of all leading business consultancy firms such as McKinsey, Boston Consulting Group, Ernst & Young etc. many large scale global players such as Walmart, Nestlé, Unilever, Starbucks, Tesco, Carrefour, Rewe not only discovered that more and more consumers start to care about the environmental and social footprint of a product but realized that business as usual, conventional agricultural practices already on short-term lead to a severe soil and water scarcity and with it present a risk to resource and commodity security."
Its easy to pick the general picture but there are some many ideas in this one sentence that its like looking at a Picasso painting while under the influence of hallucingens. (I'm employing a theoretical metaphor here of course).
Showing posts with label language. Show all posts
Showing posts with label language. Show all posts
Thursday, 9 June 2011
Monday, 4 April 2011
The Italian Job(s)
Living on mainland Europe doesn't always make inter-cultural communication easier - as these three sketches show.
1. Umberto Eco, one of my favourite authors, came to do a talk in Amsterdam to promote his new book. I almost went - I am a bit of a literature junkie and a signed copy of the book would not have gone amiss. But I only heard about it the day before and rearranging my schedule to include a trip to A'dam was too bothersome. The next week I was in the public library and saw a copy of it - in Dutch. So I went to the help desk and asked (in my best Dutch) if I could order an English version. Umberto is pretty difficult to understand in one's native language and there was no way I was going to try to read a 'stun an ox' novel in Dutch. She (librarians are almost always ‘shes’) hunted through the system and tried hard to find a copy. A few days later I got an e- mail telling me that the book had not yet been translated into English. 1-0 to the Dutch for being more integrated with the culture of other European cultures than the Brits.
A few days later the Champions League knock-out stages came around. There were two matches that night - Man U ('my team') vs. Marseille (one of my favourite cities in Europe) and Bayern vs. Inter Milan. I skipped out of my Dutch class a bit early hoping to watch the Red Devils trounce the Marseillaise. ITV has the transmission rights to the Champions League so I am dependent on Dutch broadcasters to show the 'right' match. They choose the 'wrong' one. Actually the Bayern - Inter match turned out to be the better one - with Milan stealing a last minute goal on the Germans (déjà vu from 1998?) to become the only group runners-up to make it through to the last eight. I asked a few Dutch friends whether the choice of match reflected a critical choice about the likely quality of the match – or a nationalistic one reflecting the number of Dutch players involved. They were disarmingly honest and almost universally opted for the later choice. But it was the better match- so we’ll give them a draw on that one (though I will have to make a note to go to a pub with cable TV to watch the Chelsea v Man U match tomorrow).
Finally, one of the banes of ex-pat life in (rural) Netherlands is that foreign movies are largely inaccessible to non Dutch speakers – at least at the movies – because they are only subtitled into Dutch. Representations have been made to managers of movie houses – pointing out that they may be losing a considerable amount of custom in a town where at least 40% of the student population (or about 20% of the total population) is non-Dutch speaking: all to no avail. It seems the system is too inflexible - or the cost of getting movies with English sub titles (as well as / instead of) Dutch ones seems too high (unless one gets lucky at a film festival and gets one that has only been subtitled into English). So non-Dutch speaking world movie fans miss out. But there are occasional victories – I can manage French language movies – at a push- and last month we went see a beautiful Italian movie ‘Le Quattro Volte’ - although secure in the knowledge that there was no dialogue, and thus no sub titles, to struggle with. (Having said that I have been to see a Thai and Iraqi movie this year and got by – most of the time- with the Dutch subtitles, only occasionally asking my Dutch companions for translations of key words). It (my Dutch) must be getting better. And things could be worse – one could live in Germany and have to watch James Bond movies dubbed into German…..
Lets call it a score draw on this cultural front.
1. Umberto Eco, one of my favourite authors, came to do a talk in Amsterdam to promote his new book. I almost went - I am a bit of a literature junkie and a signed copy of the book would not have gone amiss. But I only heard about it the day before and rearranging my schedule to include a trip to A'dam was too bothersome. The next week I was in the public library and saw a copy of it - in Dutch. So I went to the help desk and asked (in my best Dutch) if I could order an English version. Umberto is pretty difficult to understand in one's native language and there was no way I was going to try to read a 'stun an ox' novel in Dutch. She (librarians are almost always ‘shes’) hunted through the system and tried hard to find a copy. A few days later I got an e- mail telling me that the book had not yet been translated into English. 1-0 to the Dutch for being more integrated with the culture of other European cultures than the Brits.
A few days later the Champions League knock-out stages came around. There were two matches that night - Man U ('my team') vs. Marseille (one of my favourite cities in Europe) and Bayern vs. Inter Milan. I skipped out of my Dutch class a bit early hoping to watch the Red Devils trounce the Marseillaise. ITV has the transmission rights to the Champions League so I am dependent on Dutch broadcasters to show the 'right' match. They choose the 'wrong' one. Actually the Bayern - Inter match turned out to be the better one - with Milan stealing a last minute goal on the Germans (déjà vu from 1998?) to become the only group runners-up to make it through to the last eight. I asked a few Dutch friends whether the choice of match reflected a critical choice about the likely quality of the match – or a nationalistic one reflecting the number of Dutch players involved. They were disarmingly honest and almost universally opted for the later choice. But it was the better match- so we’ll give them a draw on that one (though I will have to make a note to go to a pub with cable TV to watch the Chelsea v Man U match tomorrow).
Finally, one of the banes of ex-pat life in (rural) Netherlands is that foreign movies are largely inaccessible to non Dutch speakers – at least at the movies – because they are only subtitled into Dutch. Representations have been made to managers of movie houses – pointing out that they may be losing a considerable amount of custom in a town where at least 40% of the student population (or about 20% of the total population) is non-Dutch speaking: all to no avail. It seems the system is too inflexible - or the cost of getting movies with English sub titles (as well as / instead of) Dutch ones seems too high (unless one gets lucky at a film festival and gets one that has only been subtitled into English). So non-Dutch speaking world movie fans miss out. But there are occasional victories – I can manage French language movies – at a push- and last month we went see a beautiful Italian movie ‘Le Quattro Volte’ - although secure in the knowledge that there was no dialogue, and thus no sub titles, to struggle with. (Having said that I have been to see a Thai and Iraqi movie this year and got by – most of the time- with the Dutch subtitles, only occasionally asking my Dutch companions for translations of key words). It (my Dutch) must be getting better. And things could be worse – one could live in Germany and have to watch James Bond movies dubbed into German…..
Lets call it a score draw on this cultural front.
Tuesday, 23 February 2010
Back to School
Three weeks ago I started an intensive Dutch course. Six hours a week class contact time plus half as much homework. My weekday evenings are no longer my own. Two evenings a week I have to leave work at five sharp, rush home – throw some leftovers or a ready meal into the microwave, gulp it down and be out the door by 6.10. It doesn’t leave much room for digestion – or a glass of wine. I’m learning to compensate by starting work later (or doing the easier work in my portfolio) on those days – so I have some functioning brain cells left for the evening. More worryingly – although this is for the future - this course severely diminishes my capacity to plan holidays around my unpredictable work schedule – and to avoid peak holiday seasons. Still the compensation is that (the recently collapsed) Dutch government (possibly more on this topic later) is paying for it – in an attempt to promote integration and participation. That means the course has a large, although often implicit, element of ‘civic training’.
As a native English speaker it is often difficult to find the motivation to learn Dutch. Firstly, nearly everyone in the NL speaks really good English and wants to use it. Often when I order a pancake, apple tart or pound of cheese the waiter/ress or shop assistant will reply in English, keen to get a chance to practice their language skills. I usually manage to do my daily errands in Dutch. Last week I even arranged to visit a stranger in a neighbouring town to buy a piece of second hand electrical kit from them – all through Dutch language e-mails and phone calls. I was quite proud. Basic information I can process and communicate, but I don’t get subtleties, not can I convey them and that is where the steep learning curve begins. (When it comes to really important stuff like contracts and insurance documents I get a native speaker to check them for me – and they say - perhaps to make me feel better- that many Dutch people would have trouble reading the terminology).
So it’s the middle ground that gets me. Ninety per cent of my Dutch associates speak far better English than I do. So it is natural that we talk in English. The biggest difficulties emerge in group situations. There always comes a point (at a ratio of about 3 or 4 to 1) when the conversation drifts back to Dutch. Though I can often follow what is going I am usually about two sentences behind, have missed a few details or lack the conversational gambits to participate in the conversation. This reinforces my natural shyness and makes me feel stupid or inadequate. It’s always a dilemma whether to smile and occasionally add a non-committal comment like ‘lekker’ or ‘echte’ or ‘geweldig’ or to try to gently push the conversation back to English. If I do that I feel I am not respecting the language of my host country and am ‘perpetuating the hegemony of the Anglo-Saxon speaking world’. But as the evening wears on I become more distanced from the drift of the conversation. Sometimes I avoid going to primarily Dutch language social gatherings–because I know there is going to come a point in the evening where my eyes glaze over and my brain goes dead. So it’s important to learn Dutch to participate more here, though it worries me that I will never master the language.
More thoughts to follow on this topic– but it’s now 16.50 and my microwave meal beckons. (The thoughts of others in a similar situation are most welcome)
As a native English speaker it is often difficult to find the motivation to learn Dutch. Firstly, nearly everyone in the NL speaks really good English and wants to use it. Often when I order a pancake, apple tart or pound of cheese the waiter/ress or shop assistant will reply in English, keen to get a chance to practice their language skills. I usually manage to do my daily errands in Dutch. Last week I even arranged to visit a stranger in a neighbouring town to buy a piece of second hand electrical kit from them – all through Dutch language e-mails and phone calls. I was quite proud. Basic information I can process and communicate, but I don’t get subtleties, not can I convey them and that is where the steep learning curve begins. (When it comes to really important stuff like contracts and insurance documents I get a native speaker to check them for me – and they say - perhaps to make me feel better- that many Dutch people would have trouble reading the terminology).
So it’s the middle ground that gets me. Ninety per cent of my Dutch associates speak far better English than I do. So it is natural that we talk in English. The biggest difficulties emerge in group situations. There always comes a point (at a ratio of about 3 or 4 to 1) when the conversation drifts back to Dutch. Though I can often follow what is going I am usually about two sentences behind, have missed a few details or lack the conversational gambits to participate in the conversation. This reinforces my natural shyness and makes me feel stupid or inadequate. It’s always a dilemma whether to smile and occasionally add a non-committal comment like ‘lekker’ or ‘echte’ or ‘geweldig’ or to try to gently push the conversation back to English. If I do that I feel I am not respecting the language of my host country and am ‘perpetuating the hegemony of the Anglo-Saxon speaking world’. But as the evening wears on I become more distanced from the drift of the conversation. Sometimes I avoid going to primarily Dutch language social gatherings–because I know there is going to come a point in the evening where my eyes glaze over and my brain goes dead. So it’s important to learn Dutch to participate more here, though it worries me that I will never master the language.
More thoughts to follow on this topic– but it’s now 16.50 and my microwave meal beckons. (The thoughts of others in a similar situation are most welcome)
Friday, 17 October 2008
Language and culture
Often when I edit texts for other people it is about correcting syntax and grammar. But sometimes there are references that don't translate very well unless you understand the context. "Land-based agriculture" is one such phrase widely used by the Dutch. When I first saw it, it seemed a tautology - but in the Dutch situation, where intensive pig, poultry and dairy farming and glasshouses play such a large role there can be a real need to distinguish between agriculture that is still primarily based on land resources and that which is primarily based on other, bought-in, resources. 'Nature development' is another example that came up today. It seems like an oxymoron - until you realise that most nature here has been created from land that has been bought back from agriculture to be used for ecological or recreational purposes. To an English speaker 'developing nature' sounds contradictory. To a Dutchman it is completely logical
Thursday, 28 August 2008
Double Dutch
Pushing on with my Dutch lessons - sometimes having French as my second language is a hindrance (I tend to adopt the French pronounciation of words in preference to the Dutch). But, sometimes it is an advantage. So it is with the two verbs kennen and weten - both mean to know - but in different contexts, and this largely follows the same pattern as savoir and connaitre in French. And having understood that principle some time ago it is easy to transpose it. Its difficult to pick up why a different language uses two words when yours only uses one.
This week's Dutch lesson was an interactive one. I had a lot of meetings and obligations yesterday so suggested to my Dutch teacher that we locate this week's lesson at the tennis club where I was due to do my twice annual voluntary bar service at lunchtime. I assumed it would be quiet there, serving a few coffees and lemonades - but in fact there was a children's tournament and I had to learn how to operate the chip fryer, the tosti maker and master the fine art of preparing croquettes - all this under the unforgiving gaze of my Dutch teacher who was able to recognize all of my weakest spots in Dutch (like speaking, comprehension and writing - reading I can almost manage if I put my mind to it and keep a dictionary close to hand). It felt like my worst idea of an exam. Still by the end I knew most of the words for the essential items and activities round a bar and have my homework for the week- practising pronouncing words with combinations of g and k in them. Apparently I am verbally dyslexic when it comes to distinguishing between the two sounds. So if you come across someone sitting on park bench with a dictionary and sounding like he has an advanced throat disease come over and say hi to the textual healer.
This week's Dutch lesson was an interactive one. I had a lot of meetings and obligations yesterday so suggested to my Dutch teacher that we locate this week's lesson at the tennis club where I was due to do my twice annual voluntary bar service at lunchtime. I assumed it would be quiet there, serving a few coffees and lemonades - but in fact there was a children's tournament and I had to learn how to operate the chip fryer, the tosti maker and master the fine art of preparing croquettes - all this under the unforgiving gaze of my Dutch teacher who was able to recognize all of my weakest spots in Dutch (like speaking, comprehension and writing - reading I can almost manage if I put my mind to it and keep a dictionary close to hand). It felt like my worst idea of an exam. Still by the end I knew most of the words for the essential items and activities round a bar and have my homework for the week- practising pronouncing words with combinations of g and k in them. Apparently I am verbally dyslexic when it comes to distinguishing between the two sounds. So if you come across someone sitting on park bench with a dictionary and sounding like he has an advanced throat disease come over and say hi to the textual healer.
Tuesday, 29 July 2008
I hear words I never heard in the Bible
Today was a busy day- made busier by getting a call at lunchtime from an ex-colleague, friend and client who wanted a job application letter checking over before the end of the afternoon. Normally I don't do (or get asked to do) rush jobs - but sometimes one should make an exception.
Twice in the afternoon I was interrupted by sales agents from KPN - telling me about all the wonderful discounts they would offer me if I signed up a contract until the end of December 2009 (only they didn't mention this bit until having asked me if I thought it was a good deal!). Twice in the same afternoon!! The first time I asked if they would take me off of their direct calls sales list - as I am tired of them pestering me with special offers on an almost monthly basis. (The only worse ones are people cold calling to ask if I have made plans for my funeral. What would they do if they called someone contemplating suicide? Are they trained in counselling?)On the second call from KPN I lost it (to my shame) shouted down the phone (in a combination of Dutch and English ) that I will change my telecoms company if they don't get off my case and that they can send details of any special offers in writing so I can read them and think about them.
I try to make a point of being polite to cold callers - I know they are either college students working their way through college or less qualified workers who resent their jobs and work under strict time and motion control procedures. But today was too much. Does anyone know how to get off their calling lists? In the UK there is a "Mailing Preference List" (which also applies to cold calls). "Mailing Preference List." Isn't that wonderful example of how the English obfuscate? I guess they couldn't have sold it as a voluntary code of behaviour to the industry if they called it the Junk Mail and Unwanted Sales Calls List. I only know about because my father regularly complained to me about getting unwanted calls and a bag full of junk mail every month. (It took him months to find something new to complain about after that). Does anything like that exist here?
Despite these interruptions I made good progress today - got my head around three
important Dutch verbs / construction forms in my Dutch lesson - got my friend's covering letter looking ship shape and worked out a protocol for dealing wth a particularly problematic mixture of English and French acronyms - used inconsistently thoughout a document. I've had my English, Dutch and French dictionaries spread acroos my desk already this week and feel like a real language worker!
It's like a ghost town here - 60% of the inhabitants must be away. Still it makes it a good time to get appointments for the dentist / optician/ hairdresser go to the bike repair shop etc. Also the perfect weather to go dipping in the Rhine.
Twice in the afternoon I was interrupted by sales agents from KPN - telling me about all the wonderful discounts they would offer me if I signed up a contract until the end of December 2009 (only they didn't mention this bit until having asked me if I thought it was a good deal!). Twice in the same afternoon!! The first time I asked if they would take me off of their direct calls sales list - as I am tired of them pestering me with special offers on an almost monthly basis. (The only worse ones are people cold calling to ask if I have made plans for my funeral. What would they do if they called someone contemplating suicide? Are they trained in counselling?)On the second call from KPN I lost it (to my shame) shouted down the phone (in a combination of Dutch and English ) that I will change my telecoms company if they don't get off my case and that they can send details of any special offers in writing so I can read them and think about them.
I try to make a point of being polite to cold callers - I know they are either college students working their way through college or less qualified workers who resent their jobs and work under strict time and motion control procedures. But today was too much. Does anyone know how to get off their calling lists? In the UK there is a "Mailing Preference List" (which also applies to cold calls). "Mailing Preference List." Isn't that wonderful example of how the English obfuscate? I guess they couldn't have sold it as a voluntary code of behaviour to the industry if they called it the Junk Mail and Unwanted Sales Calls List. I only know about because my father regularly complained to me about getting unwanted calls and a bag full of junk mail every month. (It took him months to find something new to complain about after that). Does anything like that exist here?
Despite these interruptions I made good progress today - got my head around three
important Dutch verbs / construction forms in my Dutch lesson - got my friend's covering letter looking ship shape and worked out a protocol for dealing wth a particularly problematic mixture of English and French acronyms - used inconsistently thoughout a document. I've had my English, Dutch and French dictionaries spread acroos my desk already this week and feel like a real language worker!
It's like a ghost town here - 60% of the inhabitants must be away. Still it makes it a good time to get appointments for the dentist / optician/ hairdresser go to the bike repair shop etc. Also the perfect weather to go dipping in the Rhine.
Monday, 23 June 2008
Un trilangeur? Pas completement!
Last week a French friend of mine came back to Wageningen to defend his PhD thesis, I had done some editing on his thesis , so there was both a personal and professional interest in attending his defense. (Two of the opponents said how well written the thesis was so I took more than a little professional pride in that). It was a good opportunity to (try to) exercise my (meagre) French again. I found that I was suffering from linguistic short circuits. Words that I used to know in French became transmuted into Dutch. For example 'almost", 'presque' in French, became transmuted into the Dutch ''bijna'. For F this was OK because he had done some Dutch language courses and was able to pick up the mistakes without flinching.
Come the day of the defense his father was there and picked up on the fact that I was the only person there who spoke reasonably fluent French (the sub text there is always "for an Englishman"). However my interjections of Dutch words into (hopefully passable) French sentences did keep him guessing about what I was actually trying to say.
French is an altogether difficult and different language to master. I have never fathomed the use of some subtleties about the use of French : for example the use of :
A). baisse et baisser (which mean a kiss or to fuck) has escaped me, (the recent movie "une baisse s'il vous plait" should have taught me this) but I still have not grasped the subtlety of whether I am asking a woman for a kiss or a fuck on a first date, which is a kind of critical nuance that can well influence whether or not it has a happy ending or results in having a glass of pastis splashed into your face.
B). Copin / copine and whether they refer to your good friends or to your lovers. Once at a market stall near Toulouse I clearly got the intonation wrong when looking to buy some chickens for the house of "mes copines". The poultry salesman looked at me with a mixture of jealousy and awe, and wondered whether to ask me if I really wanted another cock in the yard or what their adress was. Serious faux pas.
C. Using aimer (je t'aime, elle m'aime etc. ) in terms of I like/love you or she likes/loves me. This is a very hard gradation for anglophile to understand, maybe not so for the French.
D. Similarly I have never learned to distinguish between the spoken versions of la mort (death) and l'amour (love). When written the difference is clearly distinguishable, but when spoken there is less clarity. Perhaps such ambiguity is not unwarranted: love = death? Perhaps,the French do understand the ambiguities of life better than most other cultures .
A postscript . Some Dutch words come directly or indirectly from French. When I see them written down I am more familiar with the Franch prononciation than the Dutch (for example de file - the queue). Today my Dutch teacher told me I am the only Englishman he has met who speaks Dutch with a French accent. maybe I could audition for the Dutch version of 'ello 'ello.
Come the day of the defense his father was there and picked up on the fact that I was the only person there who spoke reasonably fluent French (the sub text there is always "for an Englishman"). However my interjections of Dutch words into (hopefully passable) French sentences did keep him guessing about what I was actually trying to say.
French is an altogether difficult and different language to master. I have never fathomed the use of some subtleties about the use of French : for example the use of :
A). baisse et baisser (which mean a kiss or to fuck) has escaped me, (the recent movie "une baisse s'il vous plait" should have taught me this) but I still have not grasped the subtlety of whether I am asking a woman for a kiss or a fuck on a first date, which is a kind of critical nuance that can well influence whether or not it has a happy ending or results in having a glass of pastis splashed into your face.
B). Copin / copine and whether they refer to your good friends or to your lovers. Once at a market stall near Toulouse I clearly got the intonation wrong when looking to buy some chickens for the house of "mes copines". The poultry salesman looked at me with a mixture of jealousy and awe, and wondered whether to ask me if I really wanted another cock in the yard or what their adress was. Serious faux pas.
C. Using aimer (je t'aime, elle m'aime etc. ) in terms of I like/love you or she likes/loves me. This is a very hard gradation for anglophile to understand, maybe not so for the French.
D. Similarly I have never learned to distinguish between the spoken versions of la mort (death) and l'amour (love). When written the difference is clearly distinguishable, but when spoken there is less clarity. Perhaps such ambiguity is not unwarranted: love = death? Perhaps,the French do understand the ambiguities of life better than most other cultures .
A postscript . Some Dutch words come directly or indirectly from French. When I see them written down I am more familiar with the Franch prononciation than the Dutch (for example de file - the queue). Today my Dutch teacher told me I am the only Englishman he has met who speaks Dutch with a French accent. maybe I could audition for the Dutch version of 'ello 'ello.
Wednesday, 18 June 2008
A free lunch ?
Today I get invited out for dinner- at the local HORECA1 training centre. At the end of the school year they examine their students' English language hosting / hostessing skills and invite native English speakers for a free (4-course) meal to assess this. Use of the term hostess awakens my fevered mind to a range of probably unjustified expectations, which I should suppress forthwith, but wil probably continue to entertain throughout the rest of the week. Even though it is unlikely that they will be fulfilled I still couldn't turn the opportunity of a free dinner (even it was pointed out that any drinks will be "own cost").
1. HORECA is a pecularly and very useful Dutch acronym that covers (most aspects of) the hospitality trade. It's derived from Hotels, Restaurants and Catering. Its one of the litle Dutch phrases that have crept into my vocabulary and is actually one of the most useful - though no native English speakers know what I am talking about on the rare occasion that I do use it.
1. HORECA is a pecularly and very useful Dutch acronym that covers (most aspects of) the hospitality trade. It's derived from Hotels, Restaurants and Catering. Its one of the litle Dutch phrases that have crept into my vocabulary and is actually one of the most useful - though no native English speakers know what I am talking about on the rare occasion that I do use it.
Monday, 2 June 2008
My old man
Being back in London for a while, hearing 'London' being spoken all week, helping my Dad get settled back home all led me to hum this song all the way back home and most of today. I really enjoyed getting back to digging in the roots of a living language.
For non native London speakers here's a glossary:
3 piece whistles = 3 piece suits (Cockney slang "whistle and flute = suit)
Roller = Rolls Royce
Digs = lodgings
his Guv'nor = his boss
Made a racket = was very noisy
Dropped his 'aitches = London way of speaking e.g "that's an 'orrible 'at"
Gor Blimey = that's suprising - (or Knock me down with a feather)
Ian was more than a textual healer - he was a proper wordsmith catching the way that Londoners morph the language -to quote the man himself "(he)....he was a charmer, as a writer he was brahma". He coined, or at least popularised the phrase, Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll (never released as a single because of fears it would not get any air time). If you like the two clips above you will also enjoy two other favourites "Reasons to be cheerful" and "There ain't half been some clever bastards." Pure genius.
For non native London speakers here's a glossary:
3 piece whistles = 3 piece suits (Cockney slang "whistle and flute = suit)
Roller = Rolls Royce
Digs = lodgings
his Guv'nor = his boss
Made a racket = was very noisy
Dropped his 'aitches = London way of speaking e.g "that's an 'orrible 'at"
Gor Blimey = that's suprising - (or Knock me down with a feather)
Ian was more than a textual healer - he was a proper wordsmith catching the way that Londoners morph the language -to quote the man himself "(he)....he was a charmer, as a writer he was brahma". He coined, or at least popularised the phrase, Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll (never released as a single because of fears it would not get any air time). If you like the two clips above you will also enjoy two other favourites "Reasons to be cheerful" and "There ain't half been some clever bastards." Pure genius.
Friday, 11 April 2008
The impotence of proofreading
One of my bookmarked blogs had a beautiful piece yesterday about a restaurant menu offering tubes of pasta with aborigines. Surely one of the most inopportune spelling mistakes ever made. Good job the restaurant is not based in Alice Springs. But I don't want to steal the thunder or humour of this article - so visit "Man writes blog" and enjoy.
Monday, 5 November 2007
Eleanor Rigby (all the lonely people)
Finally put my head above the parapet last week and posted an ad and photo on one of NL's largest dating sites. Within an afternoon my mail box was already indicating a first response.
Hi my new friend. My name is A********. To me of 29 years! I for the first time use the Internet what to get acquainted with the man! Also I wish to tell that when I have seen your structure, I became very interesting to me also would like to learn more you! As to me, I very much love small children, I simply adore them! Unfortunately I till now while do not have children, but in the near future I very much wish them to get with the favourite person! As at me many different hobbies about which I necessarily to you shall tell at correspondence! Unfortunately now I have not enough time and I cannot write more to you, to me it will be more convenient, if you write to me on my electronic address: (deleted). I hope for your prompt reply! bye.......
Seems like there is a wealth of opportunities out there (at least for teaching English) just waiting to be seized. Still its comforting to be told that I have a nice structure! Are there a few more fish in the sea?
Hi my new friend. My name is A********. To me of 29 years! I for the first time use the Internet what to get acquainted with the man! Also I wish to tell that when I have seen your structure, I became very interesting to me also would like to learn more you! As to me, I very much love small children, I simply adore them! Unfortunately I till now while do not have children, but in the near future I very much wish them to get with the favourite person! As at me many different hobbies about which I necessarily to you shall tell at correspondence! Unfortunately now I have not enough time and I cannot write more to you, to me it will be more convenient, if you write to me on my electronic address: (deleted). I hope for your prompt reply! bye.......
Seems like there is a wealth of opportunities out there (at least for teaching English) just waiting to be seized. Still its comforting to be told that I have a nice structure! Are there a few more fish in the sea?
Thursday, 18 October 2007
Vocabulary skills
A colleague from the SENSE network sent this little gem out from Free Rice today. Test (and improve) your vocabulary skills and donate grains of rice to the needy in the developing world (not so sure about the mechanics or ethics of the later). Its a fun test aimed at all levels of English proficiency.
I clocked in between levels 40 and 44. Let me know how you get on.
I clocked in between levels 40 and 44. Let me know how you get on.
Sunday, 19 August 2007
Polish holiday
Back from Poland from a twelve day spiritual and nature holiday. The trip home took 28 hours, though we did leave early to get a six hour stopover in Warsaw. We were up in the north eastern corner of the country, a couple of hours drive away from the Lithuanian and Byelorussian borders, not that we had a car. There were storks everywhere, almost every house had a nest close by. We had sighting of cranes, spotted eagles, elk (moose?), beaver (the aquatic variety), and shooting stars. There was a day’s kayaking, an afternoon’s pottery, a dawn walk in which we sacrificed ourselves to mosquitoes to get a sighting of moose (elk?),their droppings and the traces of wild boar. Lots of yoga and massage sessions – what better holiday for a group of stressed out urbanites?
I must confess I don’t take easily to groups or group holidays. It is probably a throwback to being an only child and being bullied at school and in the boy scouts. I find group dynamics particularly difficult to deal with, even in the most “democratic” groups, with sharing sessions, there are complex dynamics going on – dynamics that I find it difficult to deal with. But Arlette was so aglow with the idea of doing this for our holiday that I knew that I would struggle to come up with a better idea and besides I had never been to Poland. For me the dynamics were complicated by the fact that it was (apart from me) a completely native Dutch speaking group which raised issues that I hope to write more about later. It placed me in the position of being an outsider. Dutch peoples’ English ranges from the fluent to the passable. Yet when together around the table and wanting to express themselves comfortably they revert to Dutch. This raises the dilemma for an outsider of not wanting to insist that people speak English (otherwise how am I going to learn Dutch?) but also of missing key elements of a conversation. I can mostly follow a yoga class, or travel instructions in Dutch, but when people start discussing the finer points about how or why something should be done (or not) or how they are feeling today then I tend to lose the plot and – Catch 22- these are precisely the points when Dutch people revert to their native language. So the holiday also turned into a very intensive (and mostly welcome) Dutch course.
But the most significant thing that happened on the holiday was that Arlette, who has been my lover, companion and friend over the past two and half years, and I decided to split up. It was not totally unexpected. We had been aware that the differences between us were becoming harder to reconcile. Yet that didn’t mean that there weren’t a lot of tears. I cried a lot in the privacy of my room, and could not say anything on the final drive home from the railway station. What wanted to say was thank you for a year or so of magic and wonder and for another year or so of being a support for me in getting my feet on the ground in the NL. (Brushing away tears at this point). They say opposites attract and I regarded it as real challenge to overcome superficial differences –like our tastes in music or film or TV- but the deeper differences in how we plan (or not) and approach life were harder to overcome. I’ve learnt a lot from you and you’ve helped me grow - I hope that you feel the same.
For now its back its singlesville. Hope I (we) am (are) strong enough to deal with this positively. Thank you also to all the other group members for being sympathetic to my limited Dutch language skills and our emotional traumas. I hope that neither disturbed your holiday too much. The benefit for me is that I WILL do group holidays again – the experience of getting to meet people and really seeing their barriers break down and getting closer to them, understanding who they are and how they deal with their own lives and realities is enormous: though for a holiday I might choose mixed language (and culture) groups next time!
I must confess I don’t take easily to groups or group holidays. It is probably a throwback to being an only child and being bullied at school and in the boy scouts. I find group dynamics particularly difficult to deal with, even in the most “democratic” groups, with sharing sessions, there are complex dynamics going on – dynamics that I find it difficult to deal with. But Arlette was so aglow with the idea of doing this for our holiday that I knew that I would struggle to come up with a better idea and besides I had never been to Poland. For me the dynamics were complicated by the fact that it was (apart from me) a completely native Dutch speaking group which raised issues that I hope to write more about later. It placed me in the position of being an outsider. Dutch peoples’ English ranges from the fluent to the passable. Yet when together around the table and wanting to express themselves comfortably they revert to Dutch. This raises the dilemma for an outsider of not wanting to insist that people speak English (otherwise how am I going to learn Dutch?) but also of missing key elements of a conversation. I can mostly follow a yoga class, or travel instructions in Dutch, but when people start discussing the finer points about how or why something should be done (or not) or how they are feeling today then I tend to lose the plot and – Catch 22- these are precisely the points when Dutch people revert to their native language. So the holiday also turned into a very intensive (and mostly welcome) Dutch course.
But the most significant thing that happened on the holiday was that Arlette, who has been my lover, companion and friend over the past two and half years, and I decided to split up. It was not totally unexpected. We had been aware that the differences between us were becoming harder to reconcile. Yet that didn’t mean that there weren’t a lot of tears. I cried a lot in the privacy of my room, and could not say anything on the final drive home from the railway station. What wanted to say was thank you for a year or so of magic and wonder and for another year or so of being a support for me in getting my feet on the ground in the NL. (Brushing away tears at this point). They say opposites attract and I regarded it as real challenge to overcome superficial differences –like our tastes in music or film or TV- but the deeper differences in how we plan (or not) and approach life were harder to overcome. I’ve learnt a lot from you and you’ve helped me grow - I hope that you feel the same.
For now its back its singlesville. Hope I (we) am (are) strong enough to deal with this positively. Thank you also to all the other group members for being sympathetic to my limited Dutch language skills and our emotional traumas. I hope that neither disturbed your holiday too much. The benefit for me is that I WILL do group holidays again – the experience of getting to meet people and really seeing their barriers break down and getting closer to them, understanding who they are and how they deal with their own lives and realities is enormous: though for a holiday I might choose mixed language (and culture) groups next time!
Wednesday, 11 July 2007
Learning Dutch
There are two possible reasons why native English speakers (and I use that term loosely to include American and ‘strine colleagues) struggle so much with learning Dutch. Firstly there is English speakers famed incapacity to perform in other languages. This may stem from educational systems that make little effort inculcate other languages, a lack of interest in other cultures or geographic remoteness (few English speaking countries have direct land borders with countries with another language). That’s an argument for another day. Despite these factors there are some English speakers who do manage to conquer – or at least bridge - the language divide. Often this surprises others. I have sometimes been told that I speak good French, short pause, “for an Englishman”. It’s a strange back handed compliment.
Dutch though is another matter. I have lived here five years and while I can muster a few sentences and understand the gist of what is happening in the news I can’t in all honesty hold a conversation. Part of the problem is most Dutch people speak English and want to use it whenever they get the chance. When waiters or supermarket checkout girls detect a non-Dutch accent they are really keen to switch to English. It makes their day. And it makes us English speakers lazy. If we want to use our limited Dutch we really have to insist on doing so. So it is sometimes gratifying to conduct some transactions (beyond “a pound of cheese please”} in Dutch. This week I managed to cancel a magazine subscription on the phone and explain why I was returning a CD to the library three weeks after returning the empty box (having left the offending disc in my computer) and felt slightly proud of myself.
The best way to learn Dutch is to be around kids or older people. I had an DIY man do some work for me a few weeks ago who didn’t speak any English at all – so I learnt the basic vocabulary for tools, the things they do and degrees of straightness. (But don’t test me on these as I might have forgotten). That’s the thing with languages you have to use them every day and with my work it is sometimes possible to not use Dutch for a few days at a time. Most English speakers I know here said that they started picking up the language after five years –so there’s some hope for me yet.
Dutch though is another matter. I have lived here five years and while I can muster a few sentences and understand the gist of what is happening in the news I can’t in all honesty hold a conversation. Part of the problem is most Dutch people speak English and want to use it whenever they get the chance. When waiters or supermarket checkout girls detect a non-Dutch accent they are really keen to switch to English. It makes their day. And it makes us English speakers lazy. If we want to use our limited Dutch we really have to insist on doing so. So it is sometimes gratifying to conduct some transactions (beyond “a pound of cheese please”} in Dutch. This week I managed to cancel a magazine subscription on the phone and explain why I was returning a CD to the library three weeks after returning the empty box (having left the offending disc in my computer) and felt slightly proud of myself.
The best way to learn Dutch is to be around kids or older people. I had an DIY man do some work for me a few weeks ago who didn’t speak any English at all – so I learnt the basic vocabulary for tools, the things they do and degrees of straightness. (But don’t test me on these as I might have forgotten). That’s the thing with languages you have to use them every day and with my work it is sometimes possible to not use Dutch for a few days at a time. Most English speakers I know here said that they started picking up the language after five years –so there’s some hope for me yet.
Friday, 15 June 2007
Textual Healing
A colleague in my translator's and editor's forum was translating a piece on reducing cocaine consumption. He requested advice on translating a couple of user's phrases. One wit wrote back asking if this commission was being paid by the line.
Wednesday, 30 May 2007
Textual Healing
One of the joys of being an editor is that one sees some truly grotesque contortions of the English language. I came across one some time ago and keep it on my noticeboard. It wasn't from a client of mine but a paper about food marketing that came my way. The author's skills at manipulating vocabulary fell short of his obviously lofty poetic intentions.
Careless attitudes of the consumers related to food quality demand and wholesome concerns - their exigencies have dropped off in front of goods with lower prices or aggressive advertising.
Careless attitudes of the consumers related to food quality demand and wholesome concerns - their exigencies have dropped off in front of goods with lower prices or aggressive advertising.
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